Not for Me 

I've been in college for about 6 weeks now. I am not enjoying it. The workload is immense and I'm coming to understand just why this isn't something I want to do for the rest of my life.

I came to this college to study for my electrical technician certification. I knew well enough that I enjoyed making things work. I've wired up basic components- switches, receptacles, lights, ceiling fans, etc. However, I never accounted for the amount of theory and science there is to back this up. So many different formulas required for a billion different applications. Now, I don't hate math. I actually quite enjoy it. I was just under the impression that this class wouldn't be almost entirely paperwork.

I've never been good with homework. Even in high school, I just never ended up getting it done. My test scores were enough to carry me through with a solid 3.0, but it isn't the same here in college. Homework accounts for a whole third of your grade, so if you skate by without doing any of it, you could very easily fail the whole class. My test scores have been quite modest here as well. I'm averaging above 85% on most of my quizzes and tests, getting a 90% on my first final. Doesn't help when I only did half of the homework assignments, though. My final grade in that class was a C (just under 85%). How anyone keeps up with 2-3 homework assignments every night is beyond me. I'm already here for 6 hours, and I'll be at work for another 6 hours afterwards. 

I work sales in the electrical department at our local hardware store, so I'm constantly learning new things about customer projects and the products that we carry. I feel like I learn more about general electrical work through my own job, (that I get paid to do), versus school, (I have to pay to be here). Knowing I'm stuck here for another few months is such a drag. If I drop out I'll owe money on my scholarships, which is an even bigger pain in the butt. If I fail, I'll also owe money... so... I just have to suffer through it all.

I should probably take this time to think about what it is I really want to do. As much as I enjoy working with my hands and making things work, I've always felt the desire to entertain, whether it be through writing or the experiences and communities I've built. I love helping people too, I'm a very social person. Helping guests at work is one of my favorite things about the job.

I've toyed with the idea of streaming or starting my own radio show/podcast. I feel like it's something I could excel at. Why haven't I? Well... my internet has never been good enough. I spent most of my upbringing on a farm, so internet was essentially non-existent, even on the best of plans. Now I live in a small town next to a river- with upload speeds nearing a whopping 5mbps. This is very slow. I cannot pursue what it is I truly want to do due to the technical limitations of my geography. Late this spring, however, I plan on moving into the city. I've already got a general idea of what the bandwidth is like over there, with the average upload speed being near 10 times what i have right now.

So yeah. School sucks. I probably won't be back here after this May. I want to pursue things that I truly want to do.

Published 11:00 2/25/2025